Each June businesses pay to have their storefronts painted for the upcoming Calgary Stampede. Mostly white people and dogs riding bulls in full cowboy regalia. I passed a painting of a woman roping what appeared to be a miniature horse and my first thoughts were “wow, she has a nice rack.” That, more than anything, is my queue to cough up a couple bills, hit up some backpage.com hoes and call it a day.
I’m trying out some new contacts which have begun to sear my retinas. I fell asleep with them in and woke up with bloodshot eyes and a foggy blindness. In my haste to get dressed I pulled on pants I can’t believe I ever bought and now have to walk around for the next eight hours with pants that end halfway down my shin.
The NBA Draft is tonight. It’s a notoriously weak draft class, with only two players who stand a chance to make an All-Star game in the future. With the Collective Bargaining dispute, it looks unlikely any blockbuster trades will be made. Dwight Howard, my friend, you might be stuck on Orlando just a bit longer.